I’m not a good Christian woman.

At least not based on the narrow sliver of definition “Christian woman” is given in many churches, communities and conversations that I’ve largely been a part of throughout my life.

Now and throughout my teenage and young adult years, I’ve always felt like a “different kind of Christian.” I was even called a “unique Christian” by a guy I had a crush on a week before he rejected me, saying we “don’t see Christ the same way.” Sure, I have major doubts sometimes, but many people do. And I might throw the word “bro” into my Bible study comments, but I never felt like my views as a Christian were that outlandish.

They’re frustrated with the church, with Christian guys, and with the feeling
that they don’t belong anywhere.

The way I am as a Christian woman, however, is a bit more off the beaten path. I’m not particularly feminine, I’ve been known to smoke cigars, I’m opinionated about very specific things, I’m fairly independent, and I don’t want a Christian man to “lead me.” If and when I ever get married, I want a marriage of absolute equality. Marriage might point to the Trinity, but a man’s a man. He’s not God, and neither am I.

In the last few years, I’ve talked with a number of Christian women in their twenties and early thirties who are frustrated. They’re frustrated with the church, with Christian guys, and with the feeling that they don’t belong anywhere. All of these women are godly, Bible-believing women with whom I’ve had some amazing and edifying conversations about life and Christ. But many of us don’t know where we fit in.

“We don’t know where we fall in the cogs on the wheel.
Our stories don’t seem to fit in anywhere.”

There are many women who take on traditional roles in the church, have the meekness and humility and grace that befit a Proverbs 31 woman. But me and my friends don’t feel that we match that description.

I’m not trying to disparage those women, mind you. They’re lovely, wonderful women who have very important roles to play. But for the rest of us, we don’t know where we fall in the cogs on the wheel. Our stories don’t seem to fit in anywhere, and so we carry them with us, maybe close to the chest, sharing them with other women who feel, to some degree, this isolation and disconnection.

This isn’t a blog about being single (many married women feel this as well). It’s not about what a Proverbs 31 woman should look like. It’s not a blog about what Christian women in general should look like. God knows I don’t know the answers to those questions, and He and I have talked about them a lot (usually me whining, but still).

This is a blog to explore the issues and questions my Christian friends are asking and talking about. It’s a blog to share the voices of women I’ve met who have a unique story and a perspective on themselves and God’s role in their life.

It’s an invitation to engage. So please do!